Words of Life to Those Incarcerated

"I had a difficult time writing to the inmate I was assigned to at first. I made the mistake of Googling her—admittedly because I was curious to see why she was serving time but also because I was hoping to find out her age and maybe put a face to the person I was praying for. I thought there was absolutely nothing that I could find out that would give me any hesitation about writing her, but my heart sank when I saw what she was convicted for. I was prepared for murder but not the murder of a child. Her son died when he was two years old, which was the same age my own adopted son came into foster care because he had been severely abused in his biological home. It felt so close to home and in a moment I went from being so excited to write to this person, to feeling like I didn't have any words to put on the page. For several days I wrestled with what to do—I didn't want to ask for a new assignment and I knew the Lord hadn't made a mistake in assigning me this specific person. It wasn't until I spoke with my small group leader about it that I felt any clarity on why the Lord may have chosen this woman for me to write. When I described how I was feeling she asked me if I was sure I had forgiven my children's birth mother for the harm they had experienced and told me to pray about whether the Lord was revealing some unforgiveness that I had not even realized I was still holding on to. I got off the phone that night feeling unsure . . . I thought I'd long ago forgiven her. After praying for three days I felt like the Lord had given me such clarity that my feelings were based on my kids' history and my feelings of resentment that I was hanging on to (that I wasn't even aware of!). Once I accepted this, I felt such a weight lifted off of me in regards to writing the person I'd been given. I could think of her and see her picture and see that she was my sister in Christ, completely forgiven and redeemed, and that our sins were not comparable . . . each of us needed grace and salvation as much as the other. When I went to write my letter on Monday the words flowed so easily and when I put that letter in the mailbox I praised the Lord for loving me enough to reveal hidden places in my heart that needed to be worked through. He is so good. I would have NEVER thought when I signed up to write letters to an inmate that He would use it in such a powerful way to refine me and I am so grateful!"